I think we have all read enough about how to wash your hands, toilet paper re-stocks, and where to get hand sanitizer. While these are all important things to know we are missing an important conversation: sex & dating.
Sure, we know how long to wash our hands now, (don’t know why that took so long to figure out). But what about who we can date and when we can have sex again?
With everyone now “on pause” it looks like we are going to have to put a pause on dating as well. We are being told that sex is only safe if you live under the same roof as your partner. This means the single people are horny AF in their houses. We are turning to porn, video-chatting, FaceTiming, masturbating alone or together. While these are all great ways to safely release your sexual tension, we are human and crave that physical touch. A silicone toy can only satisfy our needs for so long.
So what are we horny single people supposed to do ?!
To start, it’s also perfectly okay if this time has caused your sex drive to actually decrease. With all the stress, anxiety, and questions regarding this virus you may not feel up to any sexual activity. Everyone is sexually coping differently and it’s okay to be turned on one day and not in the mood the next. If you do live with your partner I recommend communicating this. You can simply say, “I’m sorry babe not tonight. I feel too anxious about what’s going on.”
For now, one-night stands, dates, dinners, hook ups etc are off limits. We must stick to releasing our sexual desires through safe practices. But what will happen when we are allowed back out into the dating world? We may act like complete animals, mating with whatever catches our eye, (NYC bars, clubs, etc will literally become a zoo). But I urge us to take this time to re- think how we date. We can all learn how to be more honest with each other, chat a little bit deeper, and listen to our bodies.
I was partly joking about it becoming a zoo out there – because in reality, and for everyone’s safety, we should move forward with a new attitude. I hope people will practice more safe sex after this and not be as afraid to discuss STDs & STIs with their partner. We can all become kinder and more open about each other’s health. Such as being aware of your partners sexual health, when they last got tested, or if they feel sick.
I’ve heard too many people worry about canceling a date when they feel a little stuffy or simply not in the mood . It’s normal to cancel dates and maybe after this we won’t all be so sensitive – we are human. We get sick, feel tired from a long day of work, or simply want to stay home in our PJs. If the person does not understand that you need to prioritize your health, you probably shouldn’t even reschedule the date. It’s thoughtful and kind of you to say, “Hey I’m not feeling too great and would love to reschedule so we can both have a good time on our date.”
When it comes to one-night stands or hooking up with that sexy bartender every Friday night, we might want to now take a moment to think. Sure, hooking up and one night stands are inventible and there are no judgements in doing so. We love a good hook up. The problem with these is that there is usually little communication between partners. Moving forward I hope we can feel more comfortable with asking questions – even if we barely know the person.
As of now there is no evidence that Covid-19 is transmitted through sexual activity but obviously sex is not staying 6 feet apart from each other. With that being said, STDs and STIs can still be transmitted through sexual activity and we need to be cautious of that. When we are allowed to get sexual again pay extra attention to your body, check in with others about how they feel, and continue to wash yourself after sex. Maybe even have a longer chat with your Hinge crush before sleeping with them.
We should always be open about how we are feeling and our health. I hope moving forward we can be a little bit more honest about our sexual health and respect each other’s choices. It’s going to be even more important to do so and we should all be extra thoughtful about it.
Stay healthy & safe people. ❤
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