PORN V.S. REALITY

This then leads me to my next tangent which is how porn impacts our perception on sex.

Porn alters how women AND men view sex. Men who watch porn develop unrealistic expectations when it comes to how a female operates sexually. Most of the time the man just penetrates the female after about five minutes of kissing, or they don’t even show the romance and build up, it just goes straight to vaginal sex. This is unrealistic because it takes time for a female to become lubricated enough for penetration. You can’t just kiss on someone and then expect them to be ready for vaginal sex. In reality it takes trust and time before sex can happen. They also make the females look insanely turned on and make moaning/ screaming noises that are “sexy” and loud. Not every female is vocal and that is normal.

It also impacts how men think women want to be spoken to during a sexual act. Porn will depict a female gagging on a males dick while he moans “you like that cock” or “you dirty slut.” These statements can be fine if consent and communication is exchanged between the partners but porn does not show that part. These behaviors can be extremely degrading and not acceptable if there is no prior conversation about what the female likes. Porn has a way of making everything seem very sudden and it takes away the aspect of respect for each other. There is no intimacy or playfulness prior to sex. It is very unlikely that you would be saying these types of things to someone you do not have trust with. The actors on screen seem to have little respect for each other – leading males to think that it’s okay to speak/treat women the same way.

It also makes it seem like any sexual act is an easy and smooth process. Being comfortable with someone and performing some of the acts that porn shows can take time and communication. It’s never that simple. This easy process can make females and men feel vulnerable or uncomfortable in real life. By watching certain porn videos the viewer can create all these unrealistic ideas of how things will happen. Women and men can feel shameful or “not sexy enough” if something becomes awkward in the bedroom. They never show awkward situations in porn and that is NOT real. The condom might not fit perfectly, you might need to switch positions until it feels right, or maybe the man cums within in a couple minutes. Then all hell breaks loose! I honestly do not know why cumming fast for a man is frowned upon and why it creates an awkward sexmosphere. Both sexes should finish during sex and be pleased. Porn also can create these crazy ideas on how a female cums. I am going to write another post on squirting and just the female ejaculation in general but come on, these videos are ridiculous.

Porn can lead us to become disappointed with the sex we have/the person we have it with because it creates an exciting situation when in reality sex can be really weird. Women are shown with perfect figures, huge boobs, shaved vaginas, etc. Men are shown with perfect abs, big dicks, and amazing performances. If you think this is what people actually look like/perform like, of course you will be disappointed.

If you do have an experience that is not what you thought or your sexual expectations let you down, just be honest & open with your partner. Try to talk about it and know that not everything is a smooth process.

Sex is complicated and can be even more awkward when you put pressure and expectations on it. Everyone performs differently and porn videos do not show real connections, messy situations, or awkward moments between two people when having sex. Porn is not all bad though and it is completely normal to watch. For both sexes!